My Oscar bingo cards for 2022 are ready. This year the Oscars will be on Sunday, March 27, 2022 at 8 PM ET on ABC. It’s my 14th year in a row designing bingo cards. It’s tradition. It’s nostalgia. The world around us may be shifting, but Oscar bingo will go on. If you’re one of the few and faithful who is planning a watch party, even if it’s just you and your dog, I salute you!
Sure, last year’s Academy Awards had roughly half the viewers of 2020’s record low. But 9.85 million is still a lotta people for a live TV event. Outside of sportsball, there aren’t many real-time events I can watch knowing I’m gathered with people around the nation. I’m not a sportsy person, so that leaves me with the arts.
This year there will be three hosts: Wanda Sykes, Regina Hall, and Amy Schumer. I hear they’ll be trading off, each hosting an hour of the show. It will be fine.
(Jump to Oscar Bingo or keep reading.)
Ideas for how to fix the Oscars
I adore the show, but I have a few suggestions.
- First, stop trying to make the show shorter. Nobody is like, “I WOULD watch this show if I knew it would last precisely 3 hours. But I can’t watch any of it, since it might accidentally be 3 hours and fifteen minutes.” It’s done when it’s done. Like the Superbowl.
- There should be one host. They don’t have to be funny. But they must have amazing style. They must change clothes every 20 minutes. I nominate Tracee Ellis Ross or Zendaya. They would wear only the most glamorous or interesting things, preferably from emerging designers who could use a career boost.
- Introverted winners get to collect their trophy, wave, and go sit down. If any winner starts into a boring list of names, play them off immediately. Anyone who tells a riveting story or is visibly rattled, weepy, adorable, or intoxicated can stay until they’re done. That won’t include many people, so it will save a lot of time.
With the extra time, do this:
- Add a “Best Stunt Work” category. Reward the James Bond and Marvel folks for their bruises and creativity.
- Add “Best Graphic Design in a Live Action Film.” Somebody is designing all those opening credits, storefront signs and bus ads. Shout out to my graphic design peeps! Wait, is this part of Production Design? I don’t even know what that is, so let’s split it into separate awards. If the Oscars is about making movies, let’s celebrate all the jobs. A little kid out there might see a future career.
- Add “Best Prop Design.” The winner tells us where they found something cool or how they built an interesting thing.
- Add “Best Casting.” Tell us a story about how you do your job. I wanna know how it works.
- Add a “Best Voiceover” category. When introducing the category, play a clip from each nominee. Pause 5 seconds after each clip for viewers at home to write down who they think it is, then reveal the nominee. An extra game embedded within the show.
- Awards for “Best Costume Design” and “Best Makeup and Hairstyling” require the winner to bring to the stage people modeling their creations.
- Whichever film wins “Animated Short” gets played for us immediately.
- No sappy music during the In Memoriam segment. Have Weird Al write a song that includes the name of every person and what they were known for, and he performs it as a polka. Wait no, maybe Lin Manuel Miranda should rap it. Either way, make it a party.
- Throughout the broadcast, sprinkle in fun facts about how movies have influenced everyday life. Things like Milton’s famous red stapler in Office Space. A prop person painted a black stapler red. Afterwards Swingline was mobbed with people wanting one, so they manufactured a red version. Neat!
- Whichever celebrity is a shoo-in for a win, pay them extra to trip going up the stairs. They’re actors, so they’ll make it look real. And we can cross off that square on our Oscar bingo.
Which you can grab below.
Oscar bingo cards for 2022
Download the Oscar bingo PDF and print however many pages you need. I kept it simple to spare your toner cartridge, but you could print it on colored paper if you like. There are 20 different cards customized for this year. The first person to mark off five squares in a row wins. Diagonal counts, too.
Download Oscar bingo 2022 PDF
Get the matching 2022 Oscar ballot
For a ballot that matches the bingo design, head to my Etsy shop. (Proceeds help cover the Mailchimp fees for sending out free bingo to 2,000 people every year.)
Annual fallibility disclaimer
Someone might get a bingo 10 minutes into the show, or maybe never.
Get next year’s Oscar bingo
If you’re not on the Oscar bingo mailing list, sign up here. Next year’s game will go out a week or two before the ceremony. No need to sign up again if you’re already on the list.
Have fun!